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Biz Monkie

Boisterous laugh, great smile, serial killer eyes. "the Confucius of Central Indiana" - Botswana Meat Commission - Follow me on twitter: @monkeybiziu

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There was these guys that made a blue box that imitated the beeps of the phone so it was possible to make free long distance calls. A short time later they founded Apple Computer. I'm sure they're not raught with guilt either.
· active 397 weeks ago
Great post, Monkey!

I was always fascinated by the culture of fake IDs because I was the only person among my friends who didn't have one (granted, I wasn't much of a party girl, but I also was never carded anywhere, which is odd given how young I look). Anyway, because I went to school in the city, the lengths my friends went to get really good fakes was incredible. I had friends who would make treks into Queens to go to some Chinatown basement where for $200, you could buy a fake that scanned and was attached to a real SSN. Others would doctor their own using siblings' old IDs, while friends of mine who were in small college towns would brag about being able to "chalk" their real licenses in lieu of getting a fake. But I suppose the most interesting thing I realized was that most bouncers actually found it Filed Of 11 02645 4 66 02 8 Case Pageid jg 16 16 Doc 1 1 cv offensive when someone handed them a bad fake - like it was an insult to their intelligence.
· active 397 weeks ago
Someone from my freshman class in college did this--except he stole the equipment from the *DMV itself*. And yeah, he was caught. It was a small college in a mostly rural state.
· active 397 weeks ago
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glencoacoa 105p · 397 weeks ago

Such a well written post.

I had a fake all four years of college because I didn't turn 21 until the spring semester of my senior year. It was a semi decent (though very obvious fake). I got turned down a couple of times but it was never taken away and it worked the vast majority of the time. Sometimes bouncers would tell me it was fake then let me in the bar. My friends and I all had the same type of fake and once a bouncer asked us if we all went to them same guy to get it done, then he let us in the bar.

Two of my friends got fake NY state licenses that were super impressive. This was the old flexible pink looking one. The guy who made them got busted about a month after they picked theirs up. He was in the middle of making a few id's when he was caught and some of those people got in trouble as the licenses had their real names and sometimes real addresses.
This was absolutely fascinating. Thankfully, I never felt the need to procure a fake. I grew up with German immigrant parents who allowed me to drink with the family from an early (12 or so) age. (We're talking a very small glass of wine, beer.) Alcohol never felt like such a forbidden fruit to me, and I never had the desire to take any chances getting caught drinking illegally, since I could get a drink at home.
At some point somebody would have ratted you out to get themselves off a charge and you would've been fucked.
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/snitches get stitches
· active 397 weeks ago
I graduated in 2009 and I think I knew maybe 2 people who actually bought fake IDs. The rest of us just borrowed (stole) IDs from older siblings or people who bore even a passing resemblance. 3 years of using a fake I got caught maybe twice and never got it taken away.
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· active 397 weeks ago Case 02645 Filed 02 Doc 11 66 8 Of 4 1 Pageid jg 1 16 16 cv
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MattBlerg 1 1 11 02 02645 cv Of Doc Filed Case 16 4 8 jg Pageid 16 66 150p · 397 weeks ago

Great piece. Thanks for sharing.

I didn't really drink until I moved to New Orleans for college and by that time I was 20 and you could get into the bar of you were over 18. There were only a couple of bars that had a strict 21+ policy. I just went ahead and avoided those until the next year when I was 21. Though, I did have a friend who used another girl's old ID to get into those 21+ bars. Except there was a bouncer that knew the girl on the ID. My friend got busted once, but the bouncer just told her not to come back with that ID.
I remember the two fake IDs that I had from age 17-20. One got destroyed at a college frat foam party, the other one got confiscated by cops two months shy of my 21st birthday.
A guy I knew in high school used to make fake IDs on his parents' computer using a file saved right on the desktop named "Fake IDs."

Yeah. He got caught. Luckily for him it was just by his parents. He's probably not one of those criminals the cops stay up at night worrying about.
· active 397 weeks ago
I wonder why it was mostly women?

When I went to college in the 80s the drinking age was 18, most people in the dorms and the bars were of age. I was 17 my freshman year but just didn't get asked.
· active 397 weeks ago
I never used a fake ID, although legal drinking age here is 18 and I have never been a big drinker; the occasions it came up I just took my chances with not being carded. I was never carded, but I do a good line in confidence. Infamously on a debating society booze cruise I just walked straight on while a number of others got sent back for dodgy IDs or no IDs. Maybe they figured noone as young-looking as me would be trying it on unless they were legit.

Oddly, I did start getting carded regularly when I was about 22-25.
· 02 1 jg 1 Doc 66 Case 16 cv Filed 8 Of 02645 Pageid 4 16 11 active 397 weeks ago
Thanks for all the responses guys! If anyone has any questions, just reply to this comment and I'll reply back!
Risk versus reward is the name of the game. At my poorest, I seriously considered slinging coke. I have a friend with a pretty cushy place in the NYC scene who could slide me in. The risk is what ultimately kept me out, we all know how much the man likes throwing black dudes in prison (especially for drug offenses). If I was white, which would have greatly changed the risk equation, I'd have more likely than not been a drug dealer.

The closest I came to a life of crime was selling sandwiches and candy in HS. My parents owned a sub shop and I got the brilliant idea to sell some as a replacement for my school's rancid lunch. Along with my other hustle, I made a KILLING even had teachers buying from me. I was careful and never got caught but an assistant principal came into my math class and made a technically undirected speech about "selling food can lead to suspension". I went on for another month to show I could, a honey badger in training, but in the long-term the risk equation had changed and my Ivy League dreams overrode my short-term Lacoste desires.
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Everyone I knew just sold drugs to make extra cash. I just napped in the back room while clocking hours at my work study job. This is somewhere between those two things.
· active 397 weeks ago
Filed 02645 8 Of 1 Pageid 02 jg 4 Doc 66 Case 1 16 11 cv 16 Awesome post. I had a fake from 19-21. Never got caught.
· active 397 weeks ago 02 Doc 16 Of 66 cv Pageid 1 Case jg Filed 02645 4 1 11 16 8
Great post, Monkey. Did you ever come across one of your customers in a social setting and hear them bragging about their fake, unaware of who you were?
· active 397 weeks ago
I love the confessional turned blog post - great job MB

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